What to do when the shit hits the fan

Oh yes – it’s been one of those weeks. We all have them.

I hasten to add that the poo in question has been of the minor but plentiful sort. No-one has died. I have not been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. My friends are ok. So why make a fuss, you say!

I think you know the week I mean. And as they say, it never rains it pours and things always happen at once. At this point it’s snowing which about reflects my mood.

Now I don’t know about you, but I find dealing with one major problem is psychologically easier in many ways. You have to get on with things and everyone is supportive, expecting you to be going through a hard time. Lots of little things on the other hand, have a tendency of piling up and making you feel worse by degrees, and once enough has happened in a short span of time, the smallest thing can tip you over the edge. Like a splinter.

And yes – everything that has happened over the last week or so is pretty manageable when it comes down to it. But all together… So what has happened you ask. Well if you follow my FB feed you’ve probably already read some of this.

Firstly, our most amazingly talented and beloved bass player, Lincoln, who has been with us for a number of years, is moving back to Australia. Very sad. And though I welcome some change, I could have happily done without this one. So now Lee and I have to go through the lengthy and time consuming process of auditioning new ones and are crossing our fingers that we’ll find a good fit. Not easy. They have to be technically brilliant, competent at singing, punctual, enthusiastic, fun, easy to tour with… Well that’s the ideal anyway.

Then on Saturday, a minor annoyance. The main thoroughfare back home from my gig was closed for resurfacing. This means a fair diversion which I took. Alas 10 minutes from home someone had had an accident, closing the diversion. So I had to find a diversion to the diversion. Google maps didn’t realise the road had been closed. My phone was nearly out of juice. Luckily I ended following a convoy of cars along mysterious and unknown roads at break-neck speed and eventually got home.

Sunday – as you’ve probably read – my heating conked out. This resulted in a frustrating couple of days of phone calls, let downs, misdiagnoses etc. I miserably huddled in a flock of jumpers, hot water bottles and duvets.

Monday, just to compound my misery, a contact lens broke in my eye and has as yet refused to come out. My optician has not come in today.. So now I’m warmer, but I have a rather red eye..

Monday evening, our keyboard player quit, deciding he would stick with his other band as he had to decide between the two. Aaaargh! Ok – this was a problem I could solve. We had only auditioned last summer and had highlighted 3 likely candidates. The 2nd favourite is on board and said he’d love to do it. Cross that off the list then.

Now the week isn’t over yet, so anything could happen. Fingers crossed my run of annoyances has come to an end.

So what do I do to make myself feel better? Well, there are 2 things. The first, and best, is to solve the problems. The keyboard situation has been solved, bass auditions are progressing with a whole load of applicants. The heating has been fixed. Appointment with optician made. Making something good happen, negates the negatives. Works for me.

So what about the stuff you cannot solve? Yes – there’s always some of that. I use a psychological method which helps me enormously. It doesn’t stop me being a bit miserable as such, but it adds a note of positivity which dampens it considerably. I use the idea of Karma. Now don’t misunderstand me – I am in no way religious, and I know when I’m using something that is full of holes. I think of it more in the sense that each time we’re in the grip of a run of bad luck, it is surrounded by times which aren’t. Hence times that are generally ok. I also think of every action has an equal and opposite reaction. I know this cannot be applied to human behaviour and luck in any reliable way, but it’s a great crutch.

So – I tell myself that when something bad happens, something good will happen too. And the longer the run of bad luck, the more good stuff I can look forward to! It’s a strange psychological dishonesty which helps me a great deal. I don’t know exactly when all this good stuff will be coming my way…. But it’s going to happen!

Unless I get run over by a bus….




  • Alan C-B says:

    As you say, it’s the petty irritations that build up to really affect one’s feelings. In of themselves they’re solvable but as a group they grind one down. Remember a cheese grater is made up of lots of little holes!
    Sometimes we have to take a step back, a couple of deep breaths then go through each annoyance. Don’t say “my week was crap” but “first that … sorted now. Then that … on the mend” and so on. Take each issue in turn rather than allow them to gang up on you!

  • Paul says:

    great blog Doris i thought i was having a bad week because of a hang nail haha.

  • David Hammond says:

    An egregious week indeed, the lens is more of a worry, but I hope it’s a soft one.
    Karma I think is a perfectly acceptable crutch, my one is shit happens.
    Hope the rest of the week is yin to the first half’s yang!

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