I did this on Myspace many years ago and had a complete hoot! So this is the Virtual Party #2.

What you have to understand that as this is a virtual party anything goes. And I mean anything. You can make up anything you like, be served by anyone you like; DO anything you like – no-one will take you to court here (well, unless you defame a famous person, in which case they might). The bar is limitless and FREE. You can find the drugs of your choice; have sex with anyone you like, and behave as badly as you can imagine. Happy days.

Now I expect you ALL to attend and to keep this party going! Let’s get started shall we….











The sun is setting on a beautiful balmy evening, as the first guests arrive. Doris has already had several tequila slammers and is currently having a lively discussion with a palm tree next to the expansive pool, which is full of scantily clad babes and glistening hunks waiting to entertain the guests.

Along the patio flanking the modern 50 bedroom mansion is an 80 foot bar. Currently serving drinks are Jean Claude Van Damme, Al Murray in full Pub Landlord mode, and the bitchy one from Big Brother (take your pick). Madonna, Angelina Jolie, Mike Myers and the Spice Girls are serving canapés on silver platters.

Already three sheets to the wind, Doris finds herself drawn to the kitchen where all good party animals congregate, and is not disappointed. About 50 people have managed to cram into it, and are shouting in each other’s ears. Remarkable as it’s a job to lever yourself past the snogging couple right in front of the door and who have no intention of moving. Someone has been stuffed into a cupboard and is hammering to be let out, whilst a group of blokes are experimenting with homemade cocktails. Not very successfully judging by the mess on the floor…

Meanwhile in the garden someone has managed to locate a traffic cone which is being sported as a hat, a megaphone, an air guitar and a penis in turn, to great hilarity.

On the garden stage Shirley Bassey has taken to the microphone in full glittery gown and singing Gold Finger. Well, everyone else is singing Gold Finger at the top of their voices, so one has to assume that’s what she’s singing as well… Impossible to tell.

Doris unwittingly explores the mansion trying to find the door. Through the gaming room, the Happy House room with sweaty dancers (well you do have to please everyone!), through the smoky Hippy enclave with its bongs, pipes and sounds of Gong; past a gaggle of mankinis; through the Mosh room (very carefully); across a small pile of people who have passed out already….. and finds the front door! She opens it and it’s….. YOU!

What happens next…..?

Upside Down World CD

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